Ladybug's field notes

This blog post came to my mind while going through many writings in the recent past on how a whole generation of us have been taught to establish man woman equality. And on a lighter vein, how seriously we took that role!  When I joined the development sector, I was out to prove anything that a man of my age could do, I could do too. And working in SRUTI, a NGO that supported activists in far flung areas of the country, I was subjected to the toughest of the tests in this regard. To begin with SRUTI was highly skeptical about adding a woman to their team (of men, largely). I had to jump into proving that I was no less than a "man in the team" the moment I joined. I joined on 5th of May and I was sent to Jhabua area of Madhya Pradesh for a month starting 11th of May. This post is specifically about the struggles of washing one self in the areas where there was no concept of a bathroom and men, with whom you were travelling did not think they should try to make any extra ...

I tried to refer to everyone by their first name. It was my first effort in feudal eastern Uttar Pradesh to challenge the assigned gender-roles and caste ridden social norms. But I could not follow this with R B Palji. His name was Ram Badan Pal. I felt on many occasions that he did not like his name. He never introduced himself with that name. He hence remained, Palji or R B Palji to me whereas everyone else was called by their names. Even the senior most.  When I first met him in a training on "Human Rights and Gender in Development" in 2008, I thought he was a misfit in the group. A well built man in his 40s, he mentioned Pedagogy of the Oppressed within the first few minutes and I said in my mind, "O..o! Here comes a theoretician who would  take the training completely off track!" I admit this today with much shame! But, the situation changed quickly. We stayed in the same campus for 5 days and I got to talk to him. A lot! It helped. And what helped more ...

Have you ever felt that at times you just fail to convey what you really want to however much you try! You phrase and rephrase the sentence in your mind but when it finally comes out of your mouth and you hear the echo of it in your "target", the disaster has already struck! It has lost all that it was originally meant to be. Do you also remember those times when you have been unable to convey why do you feel in a particular way? And why some things are so important to you? And why are you all agitated and trying to explain while the rest of the world just passes by? It means nothing to so many. That should be enough! But it is not. Not for you.   At times they smirk at you for being so "emotional". They ask you to keep your "self" out of this. Don't get too involved. I have heard this phrase ever so often. Have you ever thought about how does one do that? How does one actually keep one's "self" on a shelf before entering the doo...

To reach Bopoli for a meeting around afternoon you have to take a bus from Roha to Nagothna as early in the morning, as possible. Walk about half a kilometer from Nagothna bus stand to reach the “six seaters'” stand. Now, board a six seater to Shiu, from Shiu take an auto to Bandhan, from Bandhan take a six seater (again!) to Kelaghar. Don't sigh so soon! You would still have to walk for about 2 km. to reach Bopoli. If you have Sopan bhau for company, he would tell you that you would actually have to walk up to the top of the hill, visible in the horizon and cross over to the other side to reach Bopoli! All he wants to have is a laugh at your urban vulnerabilities. And believe me, you would laugh too! You will never be as relieved to realize you have been conned, ever. The village is situated at the foot of the hills and not beyond it. “I am explaining the ideology of the sangathan see if you want to be part of it”, Taai said to the gathered crowd. “ Sangathan is about h...