Ladybug's field notes

My Clinical Psychologist friend and I often chatted for hours on various concepts of psychology that fascinated me to no end. One topic that we often discussed was low self esteem and fragile self-image of adults. And specifically what havoc they create in other's lives. My friend had told me something during these discussions that stayed with me. She said, "Self-concept is developed by the age of three". You heard me right! And I was surprised too. She said that the child picks up self-image clues by then from her/his environment. Good boy. Bad girl. Ganda bachcha! Pretty. Not pretty. Wanted. Loved. Not wanted. Not loved. Another very important thing about the feedback during these years is that they are on things that you probably have no control over. Most of them are ascribed qualities at that time. You can do little about the sex you belong to, whether you are pretty or not, whether you are born with a foot that need surgery! But you are given constant feedback on...

My Jethima (my much older Aunt) and I shared a special bond. She pampered me and let me eat jam which I loved but could only have limited occasional amount at my own home which my mother ran in a tight budget. Jethima or Jimma as I called her was special to me for many other things too. She would let me read "n" number of story books. I could sing and dance at home. Dirty her drawing room. She did not think I was particularly naughty. I was, but it always helped when others (very few)  did not think so. However, that one day, when she came out of the bathroom, after I had used it, she did not look pleased. She called me to her room and whispered in a hard voice, "Are you menstruating? I saw some clots in the bathroom floor. Was that yours?" I was 13. I said, "No." She probed further. I had never seen her being steely like that. It broke my heart as I said "...but Jimma I would then need pads, right? And I would have to throw them too and you could h...

Apparently all three of them are very different. One is very fashion conscious and likes to match every accessory she carries, the other could not care less. One can not be found dead without her books and the other, well! she could die at the sight of a book till recently. One is fond of ethnic jewelry, the other revels in junk jewelry and  for the third one all jewelry is just that... "junk"! One has too many friends, the other  is very serious about her friendships and for the third, "Friends? ...ummm...will sisters pass off as friends?" But then, all three are passionate human beings. Very emotional. They share a strong bond to their birth place and home town. They love going back to their roots. Perhaps it reminds them that they faced several odds and still emerged victorious. They always win. You can be almost sure, if they are in the field hollering out for each other, its one of them who is going to win it. And if one of them does not actually win,...