Apparently all three of them are very different. One is very fashion conscious and likes to match every accessory she carries, the other could not care less. One can not be found dead without her books and the other, well! she could die at the sight of a book till recently. One is fond of ethnic jewelry, the other revels in junk jewelry and for the third one all jewelry is just that... "junk"! One has too many friends, the other is very serious about her friendships and for the third, "Friends? ...ummm...will sisters pass off as friends?"
But then, all three are passionate human beings. Very emotional. They share a strong bond to their birth place and home town. They love going back to their roots. Perhaps it reminds them that they faced several odds and still emerged victorious. They always win. You can be almost sure, if they are in the field hollering out for each other, its one of them who is going to win it. And if one of them does not actually win, the other two will be there to let all know, how the world is a loser as it could not get the "right" winner. You can't win it either way, you see! At the same time, they are their worst critics. Every chance they get with the one another, they go on rambling what all are not right about them and trust me, the list is long. However, please don't get the impression that they will hear even one word of criticism about any one of them from all of you "mango people"! :) Then you will be flatly told you must have not understood it the way it is.
On the surface they are pretty plain people. Just like any other urban working women, who are trying to make both ends meet and balance home and work. But if you dig a bit deeper there are stories that are no less magical than the journey of Harry Potter. They then seem like the legendary Phoenix, which rises victorious every time it's turned to ashes.
Their Trade Unionist father sent them to regional medium semi-government schools. He believed one should learn one's mother tongue well. Schools in which they talked in Bengali, wrote in Bengali and learnt only one language that is Bengali. Strange! thinking they talk and write incessantly in English now-a-days and no wonder have little patience for the excuse of studying in regional medium school for bad language skills. The father had the habit of giving away parts of his salary to any person who could convince him that he needed it more than him. And convincing the otherwise unconvincing father on this one thing was always easy. As it is the salary of a worker in a steel plant was not much and on top of that he decided to also support his extended family members. The girls therefore, never had enough. They did not have many clothes and a new bottle of shampoo was the high-point of a quarter. They were Bengalis but did not eat fish every day, simply because they could not afford it and the study streams got chosen on the basis of their affordability quotient. Their parents were not much different from other parents in their fears of raising girls. They had almost the same "gendered" attitude (http://ladybugfieldnotes.blogspot.in/2012/11/are-you-sure.html) in terms of when should girls return home and who should they talk to. But I think it is this "almost" that made all the difference.
Their parents preached that they wanted their girls to stand on their own feet before they even think of marriage. This mattered a lot! They were in school when the father sat with them and told he would accept a person from any caste, religion or ethnicity as his son in law so far the girls find him worth of meeting the parents. "Don't elope. There is no need to. I will stand by your decision". And whats more, he stood by it! He used to be quite unfazed when asked (read, taunted) about how will he marry off three daughters as he never saved for "dowry". This is a question that never tormented him. He knew he would not pay dowry and stand the mindless ridicule if need be but he would not lower his head to the demon of dowry. (http://ladybugfieldnotes.blogspot.in/2013/01/who-is-greater-risk-for-parents.html) And by the time he started falling prey to the society's pressure of getting his daughters married, the girls had already taken their parents' words as those written on loh-e-azal and no one could take us off their path of standing on their own feet.
The girls were given values of treating every human beings as equal and with dignity and as they read more, they had no problem working with either tribal right or children's right. However, one thing for which they were ready forever to stand for was gender equity. They got tested and tried, they made mistakes, they fell, they stood up and still standing with strong faith in gender equality. The faith is as deep as the faith in themselves. What made them such believers? Well! I am still looking for a definite answer and till I find one you have to do with the space that was created by the same "almost"!
The girls were given values of treating every human beings as equal and with dignity and as they read more, they had no problem working with either tribal right or children's right. However, one thing for which they were ready forever to stand for was gender equity. They got tested and tried, they made mistakes, they fell, they stood up and still standing with strong faith in gender equality. The faith is as deep as the faith in themselves. What made them such believers? Well! I am still looking for a definite answer and till I find one you have to do with the space that was created by the same "almost"!
And as I weigh the possibilities, I also wonder can't other parents make this small window of opportunity for their girls? Can more girls be the ones like these girls are? After all, it is not on the load of resources but the wings of faith and support on which girls fly.....
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