Who is a greater "risk" for the parents?

As I traveled in South-Western Rajasthan, village after village I met communities in denial. There was either silence or they tried hard to convince me that the phenomenon of sex selection does not take place in their villages. Period! If you push, show data, ask them to ponder and after a long pause it was a tentative, "May be...some women in some other villages are doing it" and then quickly turning to, "It is the urban areas you see..not us". It was tiring to talk to these walls of silence!

We met them in different social groups. They were Local Government members (PRI) as we know them in India) or the health workers like, Auxiliary Nursing Matrons (ANMs) and Accredited Social Health Activist (ASHA). Health, Nutrition and Sanitation Committee members and local doctors and others. "Although you say nothing is wrong, the data says otherwise" chipped in a NGO worker. "May be that's what God is doing. He is sending less girls to the world"added a ASHA! Aha! Doesn't that solve the mystery of missing girls?

In a village in Jalore,  we sat near the health centre and the doctor came out. He was a young chap in his 20s. He said, "Of course there is sex selective elimination. It is rampant in my class . I can tell you about at least 4 cases of termination of pregnancy when the couple got to know that the fetus was female among my peers. These villagers are still better!" he pointed his hands towards those present at the meeting. "How much do they spend in each case?" , asked one of us. "At least 20 thousand. Including travelling to Palanpur or Ahmedabad in Gujarat for illegal detection of sex of the fetus". We were surrounded by villagers in pretty plain clothes, if not tattered. Looking around we saw very basic houses mostly without a cement roof.  I therefore said, "You are probably right. It is not these villagers. Where will the people of this village get money to get a sex selective elimination done!" This kind of woke the gathering up.  You were passing a negative statement about the economic health of the village! The young Head of the Panchayat quipped, "You are mistaken. In this district people don't spend on houses and clothes but if you think they are poor, they are not. They do spend money to get a female fetus eliminated. They think its an investment in the future." So there you go! (The unfair and unequal battle)

The Centre for Advocacy and Research (CFAR), a voluntary organisation has been engaging with the Panchayats and other opinion makers in the villages of Rajasthan to make sure girls are valued more in the families, fed better and hence have better chance of survival in the first five years. The NGO has worked for the past 3 years on implementation of Pre-conception and Pre-natal Diagnostics Techniques Act (PCPNDT) in the state of Rajasthan. However, the constant opposition from the medical fraternity directed them towards widening the base. They now work with the community as well as the fraternity of doctors. They work towards finding groups of men/women in the community itself who will work as change makers. 

In Dhavla village, Jalore I attended a ceremony where the local ANM organised a function to celebrate birth of girl children in the village and to felicitate girls who have done well in their studies. The District Education Officer was present in the meeting. He quite unabashedly challenged the village crowd in the local language, Marwari. He said, "Being a local, I happen to meet a father or two at the district hospital lobby. They seem so distraught, they make me wonder if anyone has died in the family! If you ask them, you get to know that no one died. It is just the birth of a girl in the family. Why, my friend? What makes you so worried? What do you fear? Why do you call her a risk to your honor? Who are the Bandits landed in Jalore jail? Are they girls? Who are the thugs? Who are the thieves? Who drink and beat up their parents? Are they girls? Have you ever thought who is a greater risk to your life and your honor?"  

I revisited this write up after the death of 23 year old woman in Delhi after gang rape in a bus. And I had to add the following from the Zero Tolerance Campaign's site (dedicated to Keenan and Ruben, the two ordinary boys with extraordinary courage from Mumbai, my heroes!). I had to copy it because I could not have said it more beautifully and hence I quote, "There is a phrase called "इज्ज़त लुटना" which means losing honor(through rape) in English. This has been planted in our minds through cheap literature and of course through the popular Bollywood flicks. I find it hugely disgusting and extremely male-centric. When a man stoops low and has forced sexual intercourse with a woman, how does a females lose her izzat (honor), its the man who has lost his izzat and his right to live? Its a forced sexual intercourse and the girl(at times,even the man or child) has done nothing to lose her honor. A rape victim is as pure and honorable as any of us. It is the demonstration of ages long male chauvinism that has been taught to us because historically we(males) have been the law makers, imparts and judges." 

So, whose honor are we talking about here? And at the cost of whose life?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=95kwpSLeDsE#!