Ladybug's field notes

Have you ever felt that at times you just fail to convey what you really want to however much you try! You phrase and rephrase the sentence in your mind but when it finally comes out of your mouth and you hear the echo of it in your "target", the disaster has already struck! It has lost all that it was originally meant to be. Do you also remember those times when you have been unable to convey why do you feel in a particular way? And why some things are so important to you? And why are you all agitated and trying to explain while the rest of the world just passes by? It means nothing to so many. That should be enough! But it is not. Not for you.   At times they smirk at you for being so "emotional". They ask you to keep your "self" out of this. Don't get too involved. I have heard this phrase ever so often. Have you ever thought about how does one do that? How does one actually keep one's "self" on a shelf before entering the doo

I n the Baramunda bus stand of Bhubaneswar, Odisha I was asked to stand by the bus waiting to go to Phulbani. "I have the ticket with a seat number..see" I was keen to prove I was not an imposter. "Yeah yeah...that's okay but just stand by" the conductor said. "But why?" My initial surprise was soon turning into irritation. I was early for my bus. I did not want to struggle to keep my bag in the overhead compartment. The bus was all ready to go. It was nicely washed and the conductor had also put some incense sticks. Why couldn't I get on to the bus? "Oh..this is the problem with urban women..they don't understand a thing." He told his fellow conductor and turned to give me a piece of his mind, "Madam, you can not get onto the bus unless a man boards the bus first. It is inauspicious. Cant you see the bus is all cleaned up and you know very well that women are unclean on some days. Don't you? Can we ask around who is goin