Ladybug's field notes

My Clinical Psychologist friend and I often chatted for hours on various concepts of psychology that fascinated me to no end. One topic that we often discussed was low self esteem and fragile self-image of adults. And specifically what havoc they create in other's lives. My friend had told me something during these discussions that stayed with me. She said, "Self-concept is developed by the age of three". You heard me right! And I was surprised too. She said that the child picks up self-image clues by then from her/his environment. Good boy. Bad girl. Ganda bachcha! Pretty. Not pretty. Wanted. Loved. Not wanted. Not loved. Another very important thing about the feedback during these years is that they are on things that you probably have no control over. Most of them are ascribed qualities at that time. You can do little about the sex you belong to, whether you are pretty or not, whether you are born with a foot that need surgery! But you are given constant feedback on

My Jethima (my much older Aunt) and I shared a special bond. She pampered me and let me eat jam which I loved but could only have limited occasional amount at my own home which my mother ran in a tight budget. Jethima or Jimma as I called her was special to me for many other things too. She would let me read "n" number of story books. I could sing and dance at home. Dirty her drawing room. She did not think I was particularly naughty. I was, but it always helped when others (very few)  did not think so. However, that one day, when she came out of the bathroom, after I had used it, she did not look pleased. She called me to her room and whispered in a hard voice, "Are you menstruating? I saw some clots in the bathroom floor. Was that yours?" I was 13. I said, "No." She probed further. I had never seen her being steely like that. It broke my heart as I said "...but Jimma I would then need pads, right? And I would have to throw them too and you could h

I am new to the field of health. I was so unaware of so many things that last year when I started visiting the health clinics run by Rural Medical Practitioners (RMPs) or quacks in Uttar Pradesh, I was shocked to see them. Since then I have traveled to many government and non-governmental health facilities (not the fancy private ones) and the my shockers are behaving better. However this note is not about how bad the public health facilities are, this is about a pleasant surprise that I encountered during my recent visit to one of the High Priority Districts of Rajasthan. This is about the human spirit that I celebrate whenever I encounter. This is about making the best given all the constraints in the system.  We all know the statistics. Our health sector is suffering from chronic problem around human resource. We dont have enough doctors in the public sector (the lure of private sector is too much), not enough nurses, ANMs (Auxiliary Nursing Matron) and now in Rajasthan they al

I would start this write up with a mail that I had once written to The Telegraph in response to a column by a certain Ms Singh who ridiculed the idea of tribe groups protecting forests. She compared forest dwellers'claiming the land they have been living-in, with Waqf board claiming Taj Mahal. Laughable as it may seem now, for me, who was then working with the groups that were fighting for the passage of Forest Dweller's bill, it was enough to sit down and write a scathing letter to the editor and my boiling blood (which is colder by 10 years now!) made me make two "personal" comments. I said probably the author's limited exposure to the tribal and forest villages had led her to believe forests can not be protected in presence of human inhabitants living there whereas history shows in India, communities were brought-in, to protect forests (Van Tongiys for example). And I made a reference to her privileged upbringing. The editor of the news paper thankfully omitt

I learnt some important lessons on "sharing" in the year that passed by. Or you may say I made some conclusions (for the time being) on sharing. I am not promising that I have learnt from all those experiences but that does not stop me from sharing my new-found knowledge, right?  Why do we share? I don't know your answer but mine is because we can ! Why did we share with you? Because you were present at that moment and we did not find it justified enough to discriminate against you (double wink)! And I know, many can not. If you can not share, you have a valid reason to crib. It is indeed a problem. Are there trust issues? You can not make friends easily, may be because you are working in this shift of life with a "part-organ" called trust. This organ needs to be restored so that you start trusting and don't hurt other people with the sharp edges of this partly broken organ. Work on it as soon as possible and don't try to give hundred and one re