How can he be so inconsiderate?

I tried to refer to everyone by their first name. It was my first effort in feudal eastern Uttar Pradesh to challenge the assigned gender-roles and caste ridden social norms. But I could not follow this with R B Palji. His name was Ram Badan Pal. I felt on many occasions that he did not like his name. He never introduced himself with that name. He hence remained, Palji or R B Palji to me whereas everyone else was called by their names. Even the senior most. 

When I first met him in a training on "Human Rights and Gender in Development" in 2008, I thought he was a misfit in the group. A well built man in his 40s, he mentioned Pedagogy of the Oppressed within the first few minutes and I said in my mind, "O..o! Here comes a theoretician who would  take the training completely off track!" I admit this today with much shame! But, the situation changed quickly. We stayed in the same campus for 5 days and I got to talk to him. A lot! It helped. And what helped more was other participants' conviction regarding the vision of this person. 

In the next few years of working with him, I heard several allegations against R B Pal.  I also received complaints against him via phone and letters, all of which fell flat upon inquiry. It was evident that he was too qualified and hence too much of a hassle for many in this backward block. He asked too many questions. His community was not expected to know so much! I, on the other hand did not like his way of talking to Dalit women. He would almost scold the women when they could not put their thoughts together while addressing the administration or government officials, after each . I challenged it and was instead sobered by the group of leaders from his area who considered him their equal. I, was an outsider. R B Pal was their own. I do not know many NGO workers who enjoy that status. R B Pal was among the very few development activists who went back to their village after achieving several distinctions in formal education. He wanted "his people" to come out of illiteracy and poverty. He wanted the best for them. And which is why he went back to Kutiyawa, Ambedkarnagar. He was not only the best in academics in his community which is traditionally engaged in cattle-herding, but the best in the district too. http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/UttarPradesh/A-class-act-in-UP-s-Kutiyawa/Article1-906724.aspx

I always challenged him. I loved arguing with him. I could learn so much. Why class is an important dimension? Why is gender such a big concern among Dalits? Why identity politics should or should not be supported? To what extent? I remember how he was not convinced about working on MGNREGA (http://nrega.nic.in ). He was ready with a list of shortcomings of the Act and prepared to debate it out. However, when we thrashed it out and he was convinced about the need, there was no looking back . When he solved the puzzle in his own head, he was way ahead of others in action. His understanding regarding the intricacies of law gave his work in the community an unique advantage. R B Pal loved analysis. I introduced him by saying that he ate, slept, walked and talked Paulo Freire! He lived Pedagogy of the Oppressed and hence never once accepted anything without debating, without questioning. I wish I could see this creed grow in UP! 

I remember, he wanted to talk to me after a NGO meeting got over, separately. He said, "You make me proud! I am happy the way you have stopped the culture of touching feet in these meetings. I always found it repulsive. You are special!" His own salutation was "zindabad!" always! He gave a hearty handshake every time I stretched my hand. Once Rekha joked as I was hugging all the women after a 6 day stay in the area and shaking hands of all men. She knew she could safely joke with Palji. She said, "Palji must be wondering why he could not get a hug!" I went ahead and hugged him too! We all laughed but I know for sure he must had shown angry eyes to Rekha after I left. His voice boomed, his laughter filled the room and there was no way one could ignore him. His He never cared whether his question will be well received or not. He had to clear his mind. We whispered to each other, "Palji does not consider the situation before speaking!" and shook our heads in collective disbelief! 

Palji, you remained as inconsiderate as ever. And we are shaking our heads in disbelief again! Is this the time to just walk off? Don't get fooled by my tears, I am very angry with you. If I meet you in the field area anywhere, there would be serious action against you. And how I wish I could have taken that action!