What can make us all win?

It was only the other day when I wrote the line, "the potential of our youth can only be fulfilled in a gender-just world" as part of an essay. The line stayed with me for a long after I ended it. Now a days, I often catch myself repeating this thought. Why do I emphasize the strategy of bringing-in elements of gender empowerment and gender-equality in almost all the projects that are brought to me as a professional? Why do I always try to wear this lens?  I, who have no degree in gender studies. It is probably because, I have learnt the hard way that unless inequality is attacked upfront, one runs the risk of running programs that with discriminatory elements at multiple levels? Or the fact that this indeed affect sustainability. 

This year in all my field visits, I observed something interesting. I observed it for the first time in Purulia, in February. We were talking to a group of girls in a school in Hura Block. They were part of the adolescent empowerment program. They were articulate. They talked about their dreams of being able to postpone their marriage till they finish college, and take up jobs. We soon started discussing boys. We asked if boys work in the kitchen. The answer was negative. We expected that. However, upon asking why, they said, the question itself was wrong. It was not about boys not working in the kitchen, it was about how boys were not allowed to work in the kitchen. We then asked if they wanted this to change, that is, if they would "allow" their boys to work in the house/in the kitchen. They vehemently protested! No way, they said! I later checked this with young girls in a few other locations (Bangladesh and India) and found that girls are not being able to think of any changes in the boys’ roles. The organisations that are working with these girls are being able to create a space for them to dream about their future beyond being homemakers but they are not being able to challenge the ideas of what men should do and how that should change too. 

Now juxtapose this with the fact that women's participation in the workforce is one of the lowest in India. By International Labour Organisation's (ILO) report, India is in the bottom 11 in female workforce participation. And as if this is not distressing enough, we are even losing the few that had entered the workforce. The following article tries to examine the reasons behind this http://www.hindustantimes.com/static/indian-women-leaving-workforce/index.html. It wrote the following, while describing the situation of a young girl who had left her job recently, "The pressures from home, too, proved overwhelming. After she married, she moved in with her husband's family, who were uncomfortable with her leaving for work at 8 in the morning and coming home at 8 in the night."

I tried to point this problem to the gutsy girls of Murshidabad district, in July this year. We had time as it rained incessantly outside. I said, they probably wont be able to do it all. They would need support at home. And the men in their lives need to play that role. It is humanly not possible to do it all. The girls also aspired to eat last after making sure everyone ate. They assured us that they would keep enough for themselves, but they just wanted to still hold on to the role of making sure men ate well. I hope the organisation saw the problem when I pointed out the inherent contradiction. I hope the girls got it that eating last might come in the way of eating equally well. 

I have seen each one of us, as development sector actors, championing one or the other lens while looking at development projects, although there is a long (mental) check-list that we draw from. This is especially true for those who have worked in program implementation. These lenses come from a mix of our years of experience in the sector, and the cause we champion. I must also mention “passion” here. I do not think that if you are not passionate about issues, you can contribute much to this sector. If you are a professional who is busy only reading about programs on the basis of number aimed, at the beginning of the implementation and number reached at the end, you are missing out a lot! And the program is missing out a lot too. And believe me, being passionate helps you achieve much more in human development, than being cold and calculative, “I am doing my job” kind! 

Coming back to the question of lens, the one that I espouse is the equity lens. I use the lens with additional cylindrical power of gender, race, caste. I use these to counter the effect of societal astigmatism that makes you miss certain letters written on the same board, if you do not move your head to adjust your eyes. How interesting is this! Even nature tells you that you need to constantly move your head (shake up your thinking), regularly, to catch all the nuances.

I strongly believe that in a society that is not gender-just, no one can live a happy, productive life. No one can win. By being gender-biased, we can not serve the next generation’s interests. No, the boys’ interest would not be served too. The research is showing, as our preference for boys remains unabated, we are creating a nation of tiny people. We need to take note of this because shorter children not only just less healthy (only!!), but they also perform poorly in cognitive tests and their overall income potential diminishes.  https://qz.com/379978/indias-preference-for-sons-has-created-a-nation-of-tiny-people/?utm_source=kwfb&kwp_0=556664

Courtesy: Breakthrough Trust's gender 
-empowerment program 
in Haryana.
 It says: "Galaxy of stars: You win, I win!"

Our girls are not fed and not taken care of. They are anemic and under-weight, in their adolescent years, who then give birth to under-weight and anemic children; including boys. We do not make it conducive for girls to work. And our weak boys can not work to their fullest potential. Thus, by being active practitioners of patriarchy, we are killing the future of our country. It’s time to change; even if all we want is a better world for boys. For me however, it’s a necessary condition in which our youth can fulfill their potential! For me, it is time to recognize the contradictions in our slogans around "Beti bachao Beti padhao" (Save the girl/Educate the girl) and "Ghoonghat hi aan-baan" (our veil is our pride); both emerging from Haryana.  If these are not recognised, some of us will have to keep calling out these inherent contradictions. We will have to keep examining the training modules with the equity lens and ask, "Where are the boys figuring in all these? How will their roles change?" We will have to keep talking to the trainers. We will have to keep telling the organisations that we partner with, "Look at your own research again using this lens! Hear what the girls are saying! Identify the contradiction in them. You will not be able to sustain your work, unless the parameters on what a boy is expected to do, change too!"